A Life of Rejection (Pt. 1)
“Hey Alexi, it’s too windy out here. Go inside. The wind will blow you away since you’re too thin.” “The rain should be ok for you. You can walk between the rain drops since you are so thin.” I’ve heard such statements from a young age on a regular basis.
These words were funny and fun for everyone. Except for me. But why should it be a problem for me?
The answer lies in the fact that we form an image of ourselves from how others perceive us. Their words become the “mirror” through which we see ourselves. From a young age we form a “picture” of ourselves by way of this mirror.
We say we should not allow the perception of others to impact us, but we are tremendously affected. We begin to think we don’t measure up as compared to others.
Our mind interprets all of this as rejection. Those who speak such words may never have meant to reject the person in any way, but on the receiving end, this is what the person feels: Rejection
Rejection simply does not remain as something we experienced in the past. It becomes our mindset. It becomes the grid through which we filter everything that we experience. Through our ongoing experience, rejection continues to be a present reality.
Here are some examples of experiences that trigger such a response in us:
- When compared with others
- When someone says we don’t measure up
- When our performance is evaluated
- When overlooked for a promotion
- Failure in an exam
- Chronic illness
- Any failure
Our minds filter these and other experiences and interprets them as rejection.
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*This is part one in a series on rejection. The next part will arrive in your inbox next week.