Our kids were small and studied at a school near the seminary where my wife and I teach. As we were late dropping the kids to school one day, I was driving fast with my eyes fixed on the road. At one point both of our children pointed out someone from our church standing on the side of the road. By the time I looked, I saw the man waving at me, but our car passed quickly and I could not wave back.
The following Sunday, the man came to church with a very sad face and approached me. He wanted to know why I was not willing to acknowledge him even though both my kids did. The sadness and rejection he experienced was quite deep and he was clearly hurt. Of course, I explained my situation to him, but he was not willing to accept my explanation at all.
Although I had not “rejected” this person, that is exactly what he felt. That was his experience at that moment. Even my explanations could not calm his heart nor clear the feeling of being rejected. Knowing his background, I know the complex situations of rejection that he experienced from his childhood up to the time of this incident. All of those experiences of rejection built up a mindset of rejection within him. That mindset filters every experience that he has and anything that resembles the rejection he previously experienced, may be interpreted as rejection too.
As many of us have experienced rejection in our lives, what is the solution to this problem? To be set free from rejection hinges on the choices you make. Start listening to God’s opinion of you, and let Him reprogram you until His estimate of you becomes a part of your life, right down to your innermost feelings.
Such work is a continuous part of your life, right down to your innermost feelings. It is a process, not a sudden crisis. I don’t know of any single Christian experience that will change your self-image overnight. You are to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). The verb in this verse represents continuous action, and the word mind describes the way you think, the way you look at life as a daily process.
So reject the lie and accept the truth.
Here are some truths about us from the Bible:
1. You are valuable. You are someone whom God values so highly as to give the life of His own dear Son to redeem you (Romans 5:7-11).
2. You are a child of God. You are a child of God not born of natural decent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God (John 1:13).
3. You belong to God. He has anointed you and put His seal of ownership on you.
4. You are loved. “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with living-kindness (Jeremiah 31:3).
5. God rejoices over you. “…He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).
6. The old is gone. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2Corinthians 5:17).
7. You are an heir to God’s Kingdom. “And I assign to you, as my Father assigned to me, a kingdom, that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel” (Luke 22:29-30).
Develop a picture of your worth and value from God, not from the false reflections that come out of your past experiences. Will you continue to live in all the lies of rejection that has filled your mind or will you hold on to the truth of what the word of God says. Jesus said: If you hold to my teaching you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free (John 8:31,32).
If you are a person who constantly experiences the fruits of rejection, here is an important exercise for you. Twice each day, read the seven points listed above. Allow God’s view of you to have prominence in your mind.
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