Attitude Problem or Defense Mechanism?
Don’t you hate it when you have to deal with those people with attitude problems? I sure do. With some, it’s difficult to be in the same room with them.
But what is an attitude problem? I can easily recognize the attitude defects in others, and they see clearly through me and notice the many “cracks” in my attitude too.
So in effect, whoever has an attitude different from me has an attitude problem. Everyone has defects that are like “cracks” that everyone else can see.
We have all experienced pain in our past. Under the surface, these are methods we use to try to protect ourselves from further pain. We use words that push people away. Through our emotions and attitudes, we say that we are no less than anyone else.
We long to be accepted for who we are. It’s not that we don’t want to be changed — we want to be changed by God. But we want to be accepted as we are. Once we are accepted in our current state, we feel that the acceptance is genuine and unconditional. Then, gradually, God can change us.
Everything else appears as rejection. The pain of rejection is too intense for anyone to bear. So we put up these defense mechanisms that are intended to protect our hearts from further pain and agony.
So what about those people with attitude problems? And those people with words that are too sharp to get close to? Just forgive, and continue to forgive. Believe that these are people for whom Jesus died. He has a plan for them, and is working on them. They are in a process of transformation into the image of Christ, God’s Son.
And I the same.
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