Dependency. Entitlement. Feeling of being used for the benefit of the one doing the caring. Resentment. Claustrophobia. Feeling smothered.
In the early stages, in the midst of a lot of instability and uncertainty, extra care is needed. Just like someone in the ICU. But as early as possible, the person needs to recover, come out, and live independently.
If that high level of care continues, the dangers are many. As people struggled with various issues of life, we are prompted to provide care. The focus should be on recovery and independence from us and to move them to dependence on Jesus. But if this does not occur in a timely manner, we run the risk of over-care.
This leads to an unhealthy dependency on us, eventually leading to a feeling of entitlement, of being used, resentment, and even emotional claustrophobia. All the while we think we are helping. But it’s over-care.
About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:11–14 ESV)
Let’s move people from dependency to maturity.
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