People With a People Pleasing Problem

Me? A people pleaser? Not me! I’ve always felt confident about myself. It’s been a set of principles that guided and helped me to make decisions thus far. Of course I’ve always believed that it was by God’s hand that I’ve been able to do anything at all.

The symptoms

But I’ve always lived with a sense of being watched and evaluated by someone. Every decision I made was questioned in the back of mind. Within seconds, I’m imagining those around me questioning me about that particular decision. After that, I’m conjuring up all the ways I would explain myself.

The problem

I never felt anyone trusted my ability to make decisions. I feared rejection by everyone who would be affected by my decisions. The result was delayed decisions and simply undecided behavior. There was fear, and a lack of trust in myself. This was shrouded with a desire to please everyone.

The causes

One of the reasons for such things developing in me is due to my Amiable personality. It’s a good trait to have with a desire to be friendly and accommodating. But when coupled with self – doubt, it’s a road trip to disaster. You end up with an emotional gridlock that blocks everything you do.

The solution

The most important step is to see yourself as God sees you. I have list of ways God sees us in a previous post called A Life of Rejection

Of course those are things you are already aware of. But it’s time to apply these thoughts to yourself. Personalize it by putting your name with each of the ways God sees us. Allow God’s perspective to permeate our heart. Let that be the beginning of the road to replacing your self condemning perspective with God’s view of you.

The future

Let this be a beginning. It’s an important step towards freedom. For those who relate with such struggles, you know that this will not be an overnight change. It will be a gradual process of transformation.

It requires courage to step out into unchartered territory. You will feel out of place, like you are not to be like this. It will be a constant battle with fear and other inhibiting perspectives. The struggle will be worth the effort.

Take the step toward being free.

Your thoughts?

Please share your response in the comments section of this blog post directly on the website.

, 12 November 2014. No Comments on People With a People Pleasing Problem. Category: Inspiration.

About Alexi George

Alexi is the pastor of Adoor Vineyard Church and Associate Professor of Old Testament at Faith Theological Seminary, India. He's earned the B.A. in Christian Ministry from West Coast Christian College, Fresno, CA, the M.Div. in Biblical Languages and Christian Education from Evangel University, Springfield, MO, and the D.Th. in Old Testament from University of South Africa.

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